


To Love Love

by Shaye



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/M, Family, Fluff, Introspection, loveeeeee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2019-01-20 02:02:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12422745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shaye/pseuds/Shaye
Summary: A fluffy introspection piece from Amelia's point of view with a few missing moments tied in.





	To Love Love

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is dedicated to the ever lovely and talented @juanitawritings, who needed some brightness in her day. I hope this does the trick! 

She had always loved love. Something about its ability to work magic. Something about the connections it fostered and its ability to withstand the tests of time. 

 

She loved love that was all-encompassing; love that didn’t tickle your soul but engulfed it in flames. She loved love that filled you to the brim with security and warmth. 

 

That is, until Ryan died. 

 

After that, her vulnerability, her weaknesses, became too great to bare to the world. So she hid. She went on pitiful dates she knew would never work out; she went on with her life as if a part of her soul wasn’t missing. But it was a lie because she would never feel complete when refusing to recognize love as important to her. 

 

She went out with James and thought they were good; they could work. She wanted to move fast but fast was too fast and spiraling was still spiraling. She picked fights to make him leave, to set him free, and yet he never left. Instead, he proposed.

 

But he was never who she planned to spend an eternity with. In all reality, she planned to spend it with no one. She couldn’t be torn down again by the monster that was love. So she ran.

 

And apparently she ran into the very thing she had been trying to repress--the part of her soul that needed more. She ran into  _ him. _

 

Literally. The first time she met Owen was when she, quite literally, ran into him. 

 

_ Muttering to herself, Amelia kept her eyes glued to the ground as she paced. She didn’t know what to do or what to think. She could never read her brother: one minute, he was happy she was there and the next, he made her feel completely unwelcome. At least Meredith seemed to be just as in the dark as she was--it made her feel less alone. If anything, Meredith was her new constant while her brother tried to figure out his life. _

 

_ She was so busy internally debating telling Derek off that she barreled right into a solid body, hearing a muffled grunt in reply. Looking up, the anger still present in her eyes, Amelia was startled by what she saw. She didn’t know why exactly, but it felt important, looking into his eyes for the first time. It was as if she wanted to commit this moment to memory, tucked away for safekeeping.  _

 

_ “Um,” she stuttered, “hi.” _

 

_ He looked gruff, but his blue eyes seemed to sparkle at the sudden change in her attitude. It was as if the transformation, the subtle differences in her eyes, showed the anger fade into a gentle caress. “Hi,” he said, grinning a small, sideways smile. It told of secrets she couldn’t quite figure out.  _

 

_ Realizing he was waiting for a response, Amelia shook her head from the distracting thoughts. “Sorry,” she mumbled, turning her eyes back to the ground.  _

 

_ “It’s fine,” he settled on the words. “Are you alright?”  _

 

_ She sighed, knowing she must have looked a bit  frazzled. “Getting there.”  _

 

_ “Can I help?” _

 

_ The corners of her mouth lifted at his words. He barely knew her, didn’t really know her at all, and he was already trying to help her. It touched her in a way she wasn’t sure she could describe. It was a weird thing to feel while sober. Confusing, actually. “I’ll be fine.” _

 

_ He seemed to hesitate, but ultimately nodded his head. “It was nice to meet you--” he paused, waiting for her to fill in the blank. _

 

_ “Amelia,” she said with a smile. “Amelia Shepherd.” _

 

_ He looked from her eyes to the Dream House and back again. She chuckled. “I’m his sister.” _

 

_ “Well, I guess we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other, then.” _

 

_ She shrugged, feeling a little closer to a decision about moving there permanently. “I really hope so.” _

 

The running into him didn’t stop there. Except this time, it was more on the metaphorical end of things. 

 

_ She was falling hard and she was falling fast. It was terrifying. Never in her life had she experienced an attraction so much deeper than appearance, so much deeper than similar interests and easy camaraderie. She didn’t know what to think, what to feel, how to act. She was a fish out of water in his company. _

 

_ “I have to go,” she said, standing awkwardly, waiting for him to stand as well or move over so she could exit their row. She didn’t know how to handle the coldness she felt in the absence of his hand. She didn’t know how to keep fighting her feelings for him when he did stuff like this. When it was clear to almost everyone how painful this day was for her and, yet, he was the only one who asked about it, the only one who followed her into the chapel.  _

 

_ Her quiet words seemed to pull him from his thoughts. “I’m sorry,” he said, shaking his head. She thought he looked embarrassed. He stood up quickly, bumping into her as his movements were faster than intended. He was muttering something and she had to smile. She wasn’t used to him being flustered. _

 

_ With her tiny grin, the light in this hell of a day, she headed to the heavy glass doors. “Wait.” She stopped at the sound of his voice, quiet but sure. “Amelia,” he said lowly, catching up with her easily. He grabbed her hands and she couldn’t help but feel some warmth restored there. “Amelia,” he repeated, “come home with me.” She was startled by his question and, by the looks of it, he was startled, too. Nevertheless, he continued. “You don’t have to be alone. I don’t want you to carry this alone.”  _

 

_ Her heart raced at his confession, his offer. She didn’t want to grow any more attached than she had already, but it was true. If she went home, she would feel alone. No one would know about the trials she’d endured. And Owen, how could she say no to him? With the hard lines of his face softened, his eyes brighter with the thought of her accompaniment, she couldn’t. _

 

_ He seemed to take her hesitation as a negative and let out a deep breath. “I’m sorry, I just thought that maybe you--” _

 

_ “--I’d love to,” she said, putting an end to his self-doubt. She saw him smile and managed a tiny grin in return. _

 

_ “Good,” he said, letting out a breath. “That’s good.” She tilted her head in the direction of the doors once more, and he nodded. He led the way out, still holding one of her hands, and she was so happy that he didn’t let go.  _

 

_ People may have stared but if they did, she didn’t notice. She didn’t need to think about them right now. He led her to his truck, opening her door and making sure she was settled before rounding to the driver’s side. _

 

_ It was quiet, but not tense. Amelia was too tired to assess the potential awkwardness, too tired to keep pretending like he didn’t affect her. “I’m starving,” she finally said, noticing the gleam in his eyes as she said the words. “Can we get something?” _

 

_ He chuckled, glad she had returned to a little bit of normality. Seeing her in that chapel, so broken and discouraged, had left him worried. “Sure. Anything you want.” _

 

_ “Anything?” she asked. If the situation wasn’t so grave and their relationship so undefined, she would have made a dirty comment. Instead, she shrugged. “Pizza?” _

 

_ “I said anything.” She was quiet as he set to calling the pizza place, one she hadn’t gotten a chance to try yet, smiling ever so slightly when he ordered her favorite.  _

 

_ About a minute after he hung up, he turned to her in surprise. “I didn’t ask you what kind you wanted.” He looked mortified. _

 

_ She chuckled. It was lighter than the darkness her laughs had been harboring all day. “It’s fine.” _

 

_ “I can call back.” _

 

_ “Actually, that’s my favorite kind.” Her stomach flipped at the double meaning of her words. _

 

_ “Oh,” he said, thinking, “good.” The rest of the ride was silent, save for the wind howling against the contours of the truck. When they finally made it to his trailer, Amelia felt another wave of calm wash over her.  _

 

_ “Looks like we’re just in time,” she said, seeing the delivery car pull up behind them. _

 

_ “I guess we are.” She watched as Owen got out of the truck and walked down the pathway, realizing too late that her slowness meant Owen had paid. _

 

_ She quickly jumped out of the car, now feeling some nerves resurfacing. “I can pay for half,” she said as Owen walked toward her.  _

 

_ “It’s fine, really.” There seemed to be more he wanted to say, but he kept quiet. He unlocked the door, Amelia standing right behind him, and easily turned the stubborn doorknob.  _

 

_ Once inside, he placed the pizza on the table and flipped on the lights, immediately engulfing the room in brightness. He moved to get some plates and two glasses, filling them with water. It was only after he finished that his eyes met Amelia’s form, still standing in the doorway. _

 

_ “You can come in, you know.” He chuckled at her hesitation.  _

 

_ “I know,” she tried to play it off. He shook his head and motioned to the table. “Help yourself.” He waited for her to make her plate and, in the meantime, turned on the television. He was still searching through channels when Amelia piped up. “I love that show.” _

 

_ He turned to meet her eyes before smiling and dropping the remote. He was glad she wasn’t hiding. He motioned for her to sit on the couch before grabbing a plate for himself and sitting down, too. She noticed that he didn’t sit too close to her, giving her a large window of personal space, but still close enough for her to feel his steady comfort. _

 

_ It was an hour and three plates of pizza from what was arguably Amelia’s new favorite pizza place later before either of them spoke again. “Thank you,” Amelia breathed. “You didn’t have to do this.” _

 

_ He shrugged, fixing his eyes on hers. “I wanted to.” _

 

_ And, somehow, she found it in herself to believe him. _

 

He was the only one who stayed for the bad, in addition to the good. He did it once with the revelation of her drug addiction. He did it again with her and her Unicorn baby. And then again after Derek’s death had left her spiraling. Once was an accident, twice was a coincidence, but three times? Three times was a pattern. A pattern he would never stop for the rest of their lives.

 

He seemed to run into her at her darkest moments and then again at his. She seemed to run to him and from him all at once. He pulled her into his orbit and she loved it as much as she feared it. Love was not in her plans. Not anymore. And, still, there she was, falling more head over heels for him with every passing day.

 

_ They were lying in his new bed, sleepy and sated, when Amelia rolled over onto his broad chest. She loved his strength--she relished in the protection he provided. “What?” he asked, noticing the understated smile resting upon her face.  _

 

_ “Hmm,” she murmured, being pulled from her racing thoughts. “Nothing.” He raised his eyebrows. “Just you,” she admitted, a blush creeping up her neck. He smiled, sliding her body up until his lips met hers.  _

 

_ “I love you,” he said, pulling back. _

 

_ “I love you, too.” She sniffled, feeling emotional. “I’ve missed you,” she said. _

 

_ She hoped he knew that she meant more than his physical presence, more than their days apart. She missed being with him, really being with him, and the promise of more.  _

 

_ He must have known, she thought, because his eyes lit up a little more brightly after she said the words. “You’ll never have to miss me again.” He placed a tender kiss to her forehead and hugged her tightly. “Because we’re going to get our forever.” _

 

_ She smiled, thinking of her proposal a few hours before. “Promise me?” _

 

_ “I promise.” _

 

It was a promise meant and a promise kept. It was a promise she learned to reciprocate as well. She used to think falling for someone was a terrible twist of fate. It was pain and suffering disguised as happiness. 

 

But she doesn’t think that anymore. They’ve come too far for that. She’s grown too much for that.

 

“Mama?” her two-year-old daughter, cheeks still rosy from her bath, asks, pulling her from her wayward thoughts.

 

“Yes, baby?” She looks over from the medical journal she had been attempting to read before her mind took off in another direction, her glasses on the tip of her nose.

 

“Up?” She asks, holding her arms out. Amelia complies, lifting her easily into her lap and snuggling her close. Her daughter smells of lavender and something inexplicably sweet. It reminds her of Owen as much as of herself. 

 

She hears Owen padding down the hall, likely with their daughter’s nightgown in hand. When he reaches her, he pauses at the sight. She feels his gaze raking over her and she can’t help the familiar tingle that grows from her belly, speeding up her heart. 

 

Slowly, Amelia moves their daughter, stripping her of the hooded towel and replacing it with her yellow nightgown before smothering her in another hug. Owen joins in, kissing Ella’s cheeks and wrapping his arms around both his girls.

 

Finally, Amelia thinks, she can love love again. Their love is not ending. There is so much more to come.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like the gooey stuff ;)


End file.
